That One Question.

A couple of weeks ago, Touré Roberts shared something on his Substack while he was on a short sabbatical that stuck with me.

He spoke about a question he’d been asked in his quiet moment, a question he had been asked many times before but never really answered truthfully.

It’s actually a question I ask people all the time. Yet so often, the answer comes back so quickly that the conversation moves on before you have a chance to ask anything else.

I sometimes wonder if it’s because we assume nobody really wants to know the answer. I know I’ve been guilty of these thoughts myself. Perhaps it’s a question asked out of politeness, habit, or simply something we say in passing.

But what if we stopped for a moment and really listened?

I like talking to people.

In fact, that’s one of the reasons what I do never really feels like work.

I cook, I eat and I have conversations.

Well, there’s a little more to it than that, but most of my days are spent with people, and I genuinely love that.

This week, after enjoying cinnamon and sugar popcorn, sipping lemon, ginger and honey tonics, and finishing off the last of our Greek-inspired lentil salad, i decided to ask that question.

The one many of us answer without really thinking.

The one we often brush aside because we assume nobody cares.

How are you? How are you really?

Without a doubt, it was one of the most meaningful conversations I’ve had with this group of women.

And we’ve had some wonderful conversations these past few weeks.

This one was different.

It was honest. It was raw.

It was deep.

There were tears, stories, shared pain and moments of faith and hope.

The room felt lighter by the end of it.

It reminded me that when we take the time to ask, but more importantly take the time to listen, we can create space for someone to be heard.

Sometimes that’s exactly what a person needs.

Not advice. No solutions.

Just someone willing to listen.

I wonder how many times we’ve been asked, ‘How are you?’ without waiting for the real answer.

Or how many times we’ve been asked and replied with, ‘I’m fine,’ when we weren’t.

The simplest questions can open doors.

And once those doors open, stories are shared, connections are made, and sometimes burdens become just a little lighter.

So make the salad.

Serve it with chicken, fish, or whatever you prefer.

Share it with family, friends or colleagues.

And while you’re sitting around the table together, ask that one question.

Then wait.

Listen.

And if you’re the one being asked, be brave enough to answer honestly.

You might be surprised how much better you all feel.

Give it a go.

Dyonne 💛